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Aching and raw
By Witchy | July 2, 2008
My life has been made more interesting, and in many ways richer, by meeting and getting to know people online. I had fun. I laughed and laughed. It was good - so good - for me.
I opened up in a way I haven’t done online before, and that was both scary and exhilarating. And yet, I held myself back, kept a lot of my personal life hidden, except from one or two who were particularly close to me. That’s the way it has to be online. You can only trust so much, reveal so much, care so much.
And it’s the caring too much that is the problem.
I am a super-sensitive person with strong emotions, and caring makes that kind of person very vulnerable to hurt. I have allowed myself to care too deeply about people I have met online. Doing so has left me aching and raw inside. I’m tired of crying. Tired of being confused. Tired of trying to understand.
I need to step back from internet friendships now. Perhaps I’ll retreat into this blog, where I can express myself without fear of being hurt because I care too much.
And maybe that sounds dramatic… and maybe it is. But it is what it is, and I am what I am, and I won’t apologize for it.
Topics: Being Witchy, Online Experiences, Relationships |
4 Responses to “Aching and raw”
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July 4th, 2008 at 9:41 am
It’s hard to love Dear Witchy. I’m having a fucked up time of it myself.
July 4th, 2008 at 9:56 am
July 4th, 2008 at 10:34 am
My soul is telling me know it isn’t.
July 4th, 2008 at 11:21 am