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She cut herself again
By Witchy | March 17, 2008
She cut again this weekend - while we were gone on our mini-holiday.
Three slices across her tiny wrist.
She denies it, of course. The cat did it. But the cat didn’t do it. I know a cat scratch when I see it. And if the cat had done it, she’d have told me, instead of hiding it under her watch.
Based on our experiences this far, I am convinced she is not suicidal at the moment, and hasn’t been for many months. The cutting is a release, I know that. And it’s more complicated than that. But it’s not an attempt at taking her life.
For that, I am grateful.
Sometimes, being a mother is the hardest thing in the world. You blame yourself for everything. Second guess your decisions. Analyze your performance. I know you shouldn’t do it. There is no manual that comes with children. All you can do is your best.
And we’ve done our best.
And sometimes it’s not good enough.
She’ll be going back to the doctor, and seeing her counselor. But if she denied it to me, she’ll deny it to them. And maybe we’ll adjust her medication again, and we’ll double-check that our prescription drugs are locked up, and we’ll watch her closely - without being so obvious that she rebels.
So, how does a good kid, from a happy, loving family, end up doing this kind of thing? I want to blame myself, but even her counselor says it’s nothing we’ve done or not done - but how does she know for sure?
So we hold our breaths. And we pray. And we hope to god that this, too, shall pass.
Topics: Our Witchy Family |
2 Responses to “She cut herself again”
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July 4th, 2008 at 9:49 am
Hopefully it will pass.
My nephew does the same thing. He got ejected from the Navy. The stress was too much for him. Now I’m glad he didn’t join the Marines. That would have been much more stressful.
And, like DD, he doesn’t want to admit anything is wrong and now that he’s an adult doesn’t want to be a “pussy” by seeing a counselor in the psychiatric field.
We just gotta hope.
July 4th, 2008 at 10:00 am