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Sex and mothering
By Witchy | October 21, 2007
I’m pretty open with my children about sex. I spare them the details, of course, but I’ve never been one to shy away from the topic, or pretend sex doesn’t exist, or is something other people do - but not me. I think letting my kids think my husband and I don’t have sex is wrong. Sex is normal. A married couple having an active sex life might not be typical in today’s world, but it is beautiful.
One day, in the not too distant future, our kid will appreciate knowing their parents had sex, and had it regularly. I think they’ll appreciate knowing sex is normal. Maybe it will help them be comfortable with their own sexuality. That would be one of my greatest wishes for them.
I recently gave my daughter a vibrating egg, with directions on how to use it. She’s sixteen.
*Gasp!*
Sixteen! How could I do such a thing? I’m corrupting her!
No, I’m not. Masturbation is normal for teenagers, and why should I pretend otherwise? I’d rather have her use the egg and be in control of her own sexuality and sexual needs than see her go out and boink some boy she barely knows.
She was a little embarrassed at first, but she thanked me, and has told me since she uses it once in a while. She’ll grow up knowing masturbation is normal and healthy. I can’t think of a better gift.
As far as our sex life goes, the kids know when we say goodnight and close the door, our playroom is off-limits, and we aren’t to be disturbed. They know we have a cabinet with our sex toys, and they’ve even expressed interest in looking at some of the toys. I see nothing wrong with showing them. Not ALL of the toys, of course, but some of them.
Our children have never witnessed us having sex, but they certainly know we have it. And there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, the opposite is true.
I recently read a blog by Always Aroused Girl. She talked about being a mother, and being sexual.
But I do wonder: is it all that hard to believe that one woman could have facets? That one woman could be deeply invested in mothering, and at the same time be really interested in sex? Are those two things incompatible?
No… they are definitely not incompatible. It’s possible to be a mom and still be sexual. You don’t have to be young and unmarried to have a great sex life. You don’t have to pretend sex doesn’t exist if you have children. You definitely SHOULD NOT act like sex is dirty. It’s too easy to give our kids hang-ups over sex. Far better for them to know their parents lovingly engage in one of the most important interactions in life.
That is, in my opinion, one of the greatest gifts we can give our children.
Topics: On Sex, Our Witchy Family |
4 Responses to “Sex and mothering”
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October 21st, 2007 at 2:54 pm
You’re a good mom … I would have liked to see DD’s face when she first saw the egg! That must have been a surprise for her! lol!
Didn’t go for the bike ride as intended. We have another wildfire … read my blog.
October 21st, 2007 at 3:48 pm
October 31st, 2007 at 7:35 pm
I too have always been honest and upfront with my kids (23 yo girl and 25 yo boy) about sex, since they were old enough to understand. No I don’t discuss details of MY sex life, and they don’t read my blog, but they DO discuss details of theirs which I think is amusing. BOTH of them. I think it’s healthy. My daughter came in tonight to show me something she wanted to make sure was ok from when she was showering and of course it was, and as she left my bedroom she said, as she so often does “I’m SO glad you’re my mom.” Me too.
Her biggest complaint? My ex who is soon to be my non ex since we have reconciled have a LOT of sex, and it is not always quiet. Hey, she’s 23. her boyfriend spends the weekends at our house. So she’s gotta deal with it.
October 31st, 2007 at 7:42 pm